Wednesday, May 20, 2015

My Eyes Will Never See Happiness Again . . .

 . . . . as is written in Job 7:7a.   I remember that this was exactly how I felt 13 years ago today, on the birth day of our precious, little Susannah Patience.  Her unexpected delivery at 32 weeks and subsequent death was such a complete surprise to us.  It sure took quite some time to process. 

The memories of this day were just rekindled Monday evening when I was visiting with a special "Grandpa" in our church body who recently lost a little great-grandson on his birthing day.  He also lost a toddler son many years ago, and was sharing with me his remembering of how his world seemed to come to a complete stop, and how he just couldn't fathom how, for everyone else around him, life went on as normal.  I remember feeling the exact same way, and sharing with my mom that I felt like I would never have joy again.  These were powerful emotions! 

But I also remember how in all my grief, the Lord faithfully ministered to me in those dark days.  At first, the pain seemed too hard to face and deal with.  I wanted to hide or run from it.  I remember He gave me Psalm 139:1-12, which began the process of my surrendering everything to Him, and thus began my journey of walking through the grief process with my Father's comfort, help and strength.

His word really became my only comfort.  Through the tears, it was such a sweet time, really, of hanging on to every word He gave me, and how He ministered to the depths of my soul in this way.   Another passage that really spoke to me was Isaiah 55:6-12a.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."   Is. 55:8-9 

And of course, all the verses that speak about how we can plan out our days, steps and ways, but it is the Lord's sovereign and good plans that prevail in the end.

We just read such a verse this morning in Proverbs 20:24.   "A man's steps are directed by the Lord.  How then can anyone understand his own way?"   It is so good to know that everything in our lives is directed by the Lord.

Blessed be name of the Lord . . . for He is good in all He does!!!  He gives, and He takes away, and we can trust Him, and have His comfort, peace and strength through it all!

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness."
Lam. 3:22-23

1 comment:

AZDonna said...

Dear sweet Robyn, I was blocked from your blog for several days, so I am just now seeing these latest posts. This is so beautifully and poignantly written, and it allows me to feel just a little bit of your pain. I also see so much of God's glory reflected in you. Your faith impresses and encourages me. I am reminded that we are given comfort from the Father during our pain in order that we might give comfort to someone else during their pain. And that comfort flowing from God through us to someone else is a soothing balm to our own hearts. I'm sure He put you in this gentleman's life at that moment for just such a reason. God bless you sweetie. I love you!

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