Saturday, April 8, 2017

A Glad Heart Makes a Cheerful Face

I haven't been feeling too glad lately, which has definitely shown up on my face. 
I do feel like I'm frowning most of the time lately. : -(
And I want to smile again! 

"Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? 
I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again--my Savior and my God!"
Psalm 43:5

I see that I have really allowed my current circumstances and experiences 
to rob me of my joy in the Lord. 
And my time to be in the Word and communing with the Lord has been stretched so thin recently.
But I know the Lord  is with me! 

Yet I still belong to you;
    you hold my right hand.
 You guide me with your counsel,
    leading me to a glorious destiny.
 Whom have I in heaven but you?
    I desire you more than anything on earthMy health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
    but God remains the strength of my heart;
    he is mine forever.
Psalm 73:23-26

The past six months with our two new little additions has been hard. 
I have found it challenging to be a foster parent to older kids that have come from really hard places and with difficult behaviors, and not really know how to parent them effectively.  
This is all so new to us.
 It can be frustrating and discouraging.  We originally said "yes" to being adoptive parents again,
and this is becoming an unexpected, extra long journey in foster parenting with them still having weekly visits with the bio parents. So bonding/attaching to the kids, and being authoritative parents in their lives has been difficult.  And we recently found out that it will be at least a year before the possibility of adoption will take place.  

The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,

For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I have hope in Him.”
Lamentations 3:22-24
Add to that our family's recent dive into the truth about abortion. Beginning in January, under Caroline's inspiring leadership, we have immersed ourselves into preparing for the
 40 Days for Life campaign.  
We wanted to be well versed in the true facts about abortion, 
and be prepared to share them with anyone that we might have opportunity to talk to. 
It has been so troubling to our souls to watch the videos that show what abortions really do to the mother and the developing baby, and read all the pro-life materials that are available. 
We have stepped up to the front lines of this fight for human life, and have seen the horror of this battle up close.  It can't help but shake you up and affect your well-being when you truly stop for a moment, and see and hear what is really going on all around us in our civilized, "Christian" country. 
How can it be that it is legal to pay people to brutally kill our vulnerable children?!
And the women/mothers are being greatly harmed in the process.

As our family and others here and across the country have stepped out of our comfort zones to be a peaceful, prayerful presence in front of our local PP, we have been angrily yelled at, spat upon, called every vulgar and vile name possible, hit with things thrown at us, and I even had a car drive up onto the sidewalk right by where I was standing the other day! 

"Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good?
But even if you should suffer for what is right,
you are blessed."
1 Peter 3:13-14

"So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good."
1 Peter 4:19

With our family trying to spend as much time as we could out on the sidewalks at PP during these 40 days, we have been dividing up many days to make this possible.  So, it has stretched us thin on the home-front in many ways, too!  I think we're all feeling a bit physically weary, but especially Caroline, who has worked round-the-clock since January! 

 Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.
Isaiah 40:31

So all this to say, how deeply my soul thirsts for God, and longs to be still in His presence, 
renewing my mind with the truth of His Word,
and dwelling on all that is true, good and lovely. 
So needful right now!! 

My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; 
my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

Psalm 84:2

1 comment:

Hannah Gardner said...

"His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me.... I sing because I'm happy... I sing because I'm free .... his eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me . "
"I must tell Jesus, I must tell Jesus he ever loves and cares for his own "
I hear your heartache over the abortion part. It deeply troubles my spirit... to think that such horrible acts are being preformed in our boarders.

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