Keeping It Real and Counting It All Good . . .

Sure glad last week is over . . .

Last week was kinda like Alexander's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, only it was a week. It began with a head cold, and as the week progressed, so did the various stages and symptoms of the sickness.  Then . . .

Monday started with a very surprising and unsettling misbehavior by one of the four little ones.  Not mentioning any names, but one of the most surprising parts of this was that the said misconduct was accomplished by one of the kids that we wouldn't have anticipated such misconduct from.  This kinda threw me into a tailspin for most of Monday.

So Tuesday was a busy day catching up on Wyatt's online public kindergarten, thanks to the foster system requiring this of us.  This is always a great source of frustration for us, as our internet is so sketchy, it takes me ten times the amount of time that it should take. And sitting still at the computer screen watching the big blue circle go round isn't productive or how either one of us would like to be spending our time. 

Wednesday, was probably the pinnacle of my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week when the house was a disaster from the previous two days, and we had one of our two monthly health and safety visits by a social worker at noon.  So I was scurrying around trying to straighten the house, when Valerie called to say she had a flat tire on her way to her weekly child care job.   A few phone calls later to get help on the way to her, and I was back to my scurrying around.  But then there was a knock at the door and all five little ones went running to the door (Yes, five . . .Marilyn was Grandma sitting for the morning.)  Stumbling my way through the sea of kids, I realized in those few seconds just how unprepared I was to greet someone from the outside world.  But I didn't have a chance to even check the depths of my unpresentableness before all five kids slung open the door and began showing off off their dress-up costumes to our kind neighbor.  A little while later, I was back on track cleaning and fitting in a little online Kindergarten, but it was getting to be close to lunchtime and the social worker would be arriving soon.  So I scurried upstairs for a quick make-over, and then rushed back down to get lunch on the table.  But the worst was yet to come!  Apparently, the frenzy of the morning, had rubbed off on the kids, as they were quite would up by the time the social worker arrived.   They were raring to go with no intentions of sitting still to watch a Christmas movie while I tried to visit with the social worker.  Just like when Mommy gets tied up talking on the phone sometimes, the kids took full advantage of their mommy trying to have an important in-person conversation on the sofa.  For about an hour, all training went out the window, and it was a free-for-all with who could get away with the most misbehavior.  I was seriously fighting back tears at one point it was so bad, and after the social worker left and the kids were in quiet time, I did have a complete melt-down shortly thereafter, and it seriously took me the rest of the day to regain my composure!  Just having the stress of these social worker visits twice monthly is enough in and of itself, but add in the emotions they bring of being "judged" all-the-more on how we're doing as foster parents (and from many other well-meaning people), not to mention just this bi-monthly reminder that we are still JUST foster parents after 2 1/4 years! There are certain moments when it all feels like such a heavy weight to bear . . . this was one of them!

Thursday, I woke extra early to leave for a dental cleaning.  This cleaning got off to a really unsettling start with a strange conversation I had with my hygienist before it began.  It just got off to a really weird start, and then, despite my meticulous home care routine and 3 month professional dental cleaning routine, it wasn't a very good report on my dental condition to boot.  Afterwards, I had a bunch of errands to run, and didn't return home until 13 1/2 hours later at 8:30pm.

I came home to find that we had finally received the missing disclosures for W and G that had been inadvertently left out of the earlier packet, as part of their adoption process.This is such a long story, but suffice is to say, this process of getting these disclosures has been a very draining and very disappointing 9 1/2 months in how the State has handled it all.  I stayed up till 1am that night reading through more of their disclosures and my heart broke all the more for all that the kids have been through.

Friday was wonderful in that Marilyn was able to Grandma sit again all day!  It is so amazing to have her nearby and be able to have this time with her.  She is the apple of this Grandma's eye and I just can't get enough of her!  My struggle is that there are days like this that I just want to solely wear my grandma hat and have fun and play all day.  :-) But there are still so many other things that demand my attention, and sometimes it just gets me down that I'm just not able to fully focus on enjoying being a grandma like I would love to. 

By Friday night, I had a terrible sinus-related headache still lingering from the head cold, but we were off to our dear friend's house for their kind sharing of the clam harvest.  Yes, those who know me know that even a hint of a smell of anything related to food from the sea can make my stomach turn.  :-(

But there were good things that happened too in this week that I want to gather and add to my list of "My-God-is-so-faithful-testimonies!"  Like the blessing of running into (I was literally "running" . . .  AWAY at the moment) a dear, sweet sister in the Lord when I was in melt-down-mode on Wednesday.  She spoke such fitting words of encouragement to my heart.  Truly, she felt like an angel sent from God to minister to my soul at that perfect moment.   And the sweet fellowship we shared on Friday night with our precious friends was also a very special end to the rough week.

And then there is all the hope we have in the Lord! And I am so grateful for how the Lord helps me renew my mind and regain proper perspective with His word and promises.  These are all just minor trials and momentary troubles in light of eternity. 1 Corinthians 4:17.  They really are so small when looked at in the proper perspective.  Thankfully, God's mercies are new every morning . . .and every week!

Today, on this fresh start of a new week,  I'm heading out to take Brielle back to Seattle Children's Hospital today for her 8 week check-up and blood draw.   I am so thankful for these children that God has given us, and for all His provisions in the care of them.  I am so thankful that I can rest in knowing that He is working all things together for good and for His glory.   So I count it all GOOD . . .  instead of terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad!    James 1:2!!